How are you guys? These days pass so fast. Pizza night! On Friday, since paint fumes were all over and I couldn't get to my desk I brought my trusty Bible to work to find some scripture on my problem from before about my faith. So, while I was sitting, I was looking up scripture about dress and holiness. I kept getting a mind block, basically. I just could not focus and really get into the Word. I don't know why. So, I hopped onto the computer to see what others had to say about UPC standards and stuff. Off topic: those labels are ridiculous. Anyway, I saw a lot of negative stuff about it, and then I just started to pray. I asked God to help me find something somewhere that can guide me. I Googled once more and I found http://www.whyileft.org/ Blown away, dude. Not even kidding. It's this guy who was Pentecostal, and now is another faith. The only sections I was interested in was the standards and stuff, but he made some good points about my faith. It really opened my eyes. To a point. I still want to figure this out for myself. I am scared of rejection of my brothers & sisters. I'm happy because I found something that deep inside I've been looking for. Answers to the question, "why?" I'm hesitant of the future. I don't know if I'm ready for what's after my realization. What comes next? If you want to go to the website, feel free. I just want to share how I felt. While I reading the text and following along with my Bible, I was welling up. I was tearing up. It felt like a part of my heart had been flip-flopped. I don't know how to explain how many holes in my Christian foundation I felt at that moment. Unreal. I emailed my sister about the site, and what happened. She read through it, and called that night. We talked about it and kind of came to a decision. We both knew it wasn't really a decision but something we were going to do. We just said it out loud. Pentecostalism is what we grew up and we know it's right. Yes, it's not perfect but I know I haven't lost anything being in church and having a personal relationship with God. Being close to Him and knowing His voice. Nothing wrong with that! I don't want to go away from that. It would be worse. The most...devastating. I do want to learn and cope. Find my way in this...Truth. I feel like I'm taking the first steps to something great. Greater than my lifetime; but it feels like it would hurt. That's what I'm scared up. That pain and how quickly it can come. I just need to pray. Look what I did today!
They look rough, I know...I know. I'm working on it. Kthanks. Working on the music block. I think the pictures will work. We will see! 21. It's crazy. This year will be different; I feel it.
bye guys!
♥,
Rachel
#5: Pokemon is not that interesting. =/
