Peekaboo, I Seize You.

Well, hey.

No internet at the apartment. My first two weeks at my new job is done today! To-day. I am so excited!! Twin Atlantic's new album is out as well! Double yes!! I just am so pumped for that. I need to get it. o_o Anyways, so my life has been going and going and going. I wish I could just get on my comp whenever I want [well, to blog not just...turning it on], but I need the funds to pay for 'netz, buns. Ha, anyway. I'm thinking about submitting a photo of myself to this site. It's about chubby fashion and I've been getting really into dressing nicely and finding my personal style. It's a cross between punk/sweet/weird/etc. I don't know.

Work is good. It feels good to earn money. I have trouble just taking money without any reason for it. It's such a blessing, but I don't know. That independent streak comes in. Oh. I think it's pride. Eek, I need to stop that. Let's go get lost right here in the USA. :) RHCP forevs.

I have summer classes, but then I DON'T have summer classes. They start in August...? No idea there, but I need to pay for them soon. I'm at the comm college here. X3 Whoops.

Let's see, kind of nervy about rent and expenses, etc. My parents have been so gracious. The Lord has blessed me with them and here recently, my dad has been coming into the picture. He paid down for a car, paying for gas, and now other stuff like my rent. I wish I could get over my humps. My lovely--no, I mean I am. God is showing me that he isn't a pompous jerk. Not now. He's a lonely old man who has kids who over half of us don't care to know him at all. The ghosts of his past are haunting him hxc. It's eerie, but God save him. Srrsly. My friend who has turned his life around is doing really well with the BSes and all and I'm so proud of him! I just know that he will be a great man of God/saint/cool guy. :D It's there; I see it and he likes that he is more positive. He told me, "I'm glad to have a friend like you." Awww, that is so so nice & sweet. :') Just made my heart melt with friendship love!! I'm glad I can be a good influence in his life and be an example of a good Christian. +2!

On a darker note, I was talking to PRJ, and he said that one of my favorite bands might have a dark secret. The lead singer, might be a Satanist. So sad. I mean, I just---inside, I shut down. I can honestly say that I love this band. The music. It literally crushed me. The singer doesn't talk or ever speak about his beliefs in their music, but to me his personal life is going to come out in his lyrics. No matter what. I have not even talked about this with any of my friends. I just hid it away. I was in denial and I fee like I'm in limbo on what to do.

What next?

:( Ack, I have to blame myself partly. I knew something like this would happen. When I first got into music, I remember praying for God to slowly ween me off of it. Until I didn't need it anymore, because I was guilty for liking secular music. I prayed so sincerely that day and all the other days following until I forgot the prayer, the thought. Now, knowing what I know, I wonder if God still honors that prayer. I know He has listens to me pray to Him and my heart's ultimate desire. I just don't know if this is testament to it. If so, God is radical!

2 hours to finish this blog. Ridiculous. This week is going to be better.


PS: Guess who is calling me? -pulls lip-

#55: I'm not alright.

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