That sick stinking smell.
I hate it.
What will we do?
We can't bury ourselves in the abyss.
That's far too close for our loved ones to see.

r e d e m p t i o n.

We must grasp it, love.
Shadows of guilt and disdain can not keep their grip on our lives, on our present selves. That is not fair.

Not. Fair.

This is bigger than the sky, deeper than the deepest ocean metaphor.

Your grip is too tight. 
I can't breathe. 
Or smell.
But I see.
That mysterious, overwhelming...
You are biting down.
& I can't stand that metallic, stinking taste.

I was very thoughtful tonight. Happy Easter, guys


How Do You Say Goodbye?

By kicking them flippin' out.

Hey guys! It's been a long time. I promised myself I wouldn't stay up until 3am tonight because Spring Break is officially over and I can't keep up my horrendous sleep sched, but I really felt to write to you. :)

So, my mom is back in San Angelo and I was just totally inconsiderate and played music way too loud. It was the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. She was screeching. Whoops! Sorry, Mom!

We bought some cheap juice at Wal-Mart tonight for a dollar and it ended up tasting like Kool-Aid. No me gusta, :(

Fainting to the point of tears, you were holding on to make a point; what's the point? 

So, I am glad to be back in school, but nowadays I feel so worn down. I'm always going, going, going..


Well, I am doing way better in my classes than I thought. I actually got a 100 on my last music exam. Miracle! I did the bonus and earned a lot of points. I think my teacher was just being generous. I can't figure out his sexual orientation and my human instinct to label stuff is going off kilter. Is he gay? Not gay? The first semester I had him, I thought he was! Srrsly. He was say boys are cute in a weird tone and stuff. He didn't give off that gay vibe, but I thought maybe he was hiding it because he goes to church on a reg basis. Maybs..then one day he talked about a past girlfriend. He could have went gay after her?! Madness, I should quit!! Oh! There is this black guy in my class who is nice to me. Which is fine, I'm cool with that. He wore a 'Boys & Girls Club' shirt one day and I think he works there. That makes me want to do this: -__- Hmm. I thought he was being nice because I'm kind of the outcast in class and I never talk to anyone unless I'm called on. Really, I don't because everyone in class are sooo annoying. I mean, voice/music majors who have other classes so they talk about random topics. ANYWAY, long story short, I sprained my ankle, wasn't having a good ay and I snapped at him because I was walking down the stairs and he asked if I sprained my ankle and it clearly wrapped. 

Well, if he had a crush on me or was interested, he's not now! >=)

Sometimes, I have bad days; he will be ok. 

DJing right now! What better time to update you guys. :) I started using Interpals! It's pretty cool. It's a website where you meet people around the world and become penpals! I seriously need some French friends so I can get better. I have to have 4 semesters of a language to graduate. Awful! Why even? I know you have to communicate, but dannnng! I don't want to, but I'm going.

So, my title. Why am I saying that? I a putting in my two week for my job. I wouldn't call it a job. I go in 4 hours a week, and now next week it's just 2. It's not worth driving there. My boss said he wasn't satisfied with the pace I was going because of taxes, so he hired another person on top of his accountant. So he has cut us back to the extreme. No.

That's that. I'm glad I am leaving because I was highly stressed and I don't need that. He is the one who makes all the trouble for himself. I hope he grows up. Not in a cynical way but truthfully. He is totes old and needs to realize some things.

I want a boyfriend. Have I told you guys that? 

As of today, I have lost 11 more pounds so that is pretty flippin' sweet! People have started to notice and I'm okay with that. I am not overjoyed until I reach my personal goal. I have a ways to go but that's okay. I'm willing to go the distance!

DJing is very fun, but sometimes I just want to go home. I work mainly at night but I get so busy and tired I want to collapse. It will be all worth it! If you haven't listened to my show, do it!! Like my Facebook page: DJ Radical Rachel or follow me on Twitter: @onradkid. :) I post a lot of music news and stuff like that! On my fb page are my hours and how you can tune in! Do itttt. I want your feedback on how I'm doing. Yeah!

I was looking through the job bank here at school and there are no good jobs at all. A lot of work for nothing. Smh! Can't do it again.

I hope you guys have an awesome weekend! I know I will. I am going to Big Springs with my church for a youth rally and then Sterling City for a prayer thing. So busy, but I'm glad to be able to go so much. So, tomorrow I register for class! Fingers crossed for my hot teacher helping us!!

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