We didn't do it for the money, I don't know why
We didn't do it for the money, I don't care why
You'll go down down down get in my car it's too full
We didn't do it to be happy, so i can whine
You'll go down down down on the outside
Will i grow this out
You think I got my way
We didn't do it for the money, for the last time
You think I got my way, you think I got my way
Get in my car
It's too full.
Get in my car.

As I sit and realize the situation. I know I am alone.

I hope it's not like this always. Forever.




On the library computer. There are two cuuute Asians across the table from me. A girl and a guy. The girl has an oversized scarf on. Kawaii desu ne?!

Tee-he. I'm eating spaghetti tonight and chem let out supah early! Yes and a thousand times yes!!



Is It Okay, To Light My Hand On Fiyah?

Oh my gravy.
It's been too long. At Hastings mooching off their interwebz. I can't figure out why I have such bad fortune at my dorms with the internet service. =/ Only me. Probably because I'm a transfer student.


The barista is playing hardcore music and Rise Against. Good and bad. Their store is so much better than the one back home. Actually... a lot of stuff is better than home. Hastings being one of the many. They have two Wal-Marts! TWO! Both huge! Anyways, I'm so happy because I've found a church and a friend already. She is amazing, I am really blessed to have met her. We hit it off from the first conversation we had. It was really rad. She is really rad. Also, I met this guy down my hall who is 21. Friends. Relate to eachother on totally different levels. It's different in the dorms. I...I don't know. I definitely want an apartment next semester and for the summer. I mean, I am a shy pooper. Not anymore. Any place. Nu-huh. Not too crazy about that. In other news, I have lost 15 pounds since the summer!!! I can't believe it! I used to be
335 and now I am 318. By May I want to be under 300 pounds. Seriously. I am so close! 250? Possible? Heck yes. Just typing that I feel tons better about myself. I knew if I just put mind power to it and God behind me, it can be done and I did it. I can't believe it. Hard work pays off. :)


PS: DEF a lot of cell blogging from now on. I'm not letting Concho get the best of me. ;)

#32: I have conviction, too.


It's Worth Living, Now.

Would I kid you, dear?
The church pews are empty but my tear ducts are not.
I want equilibrium.
Out of this ugly house and into God's heavenly arms.
Not death.
That's too tricky and messy.
Lists, lists, lists, plans.
I make them and break them.
Be still my ever still heart and do my bidding.
This is to the still and quiet who fear that ever omnipresence.
This is to the shadows that I see but don't see.
This is to the blind, the weary, the weak spirited.
Psalm 103:11.
What do we have to fear?
What should we tremble unconsciously behind?
You're offshore waving good-bye.
I'm feeling the wooden pier against my feet.
It hurts, but it's worth it.

I cried while I wrote in my journal.

#31: We're the coolest kids and we take what we can get.


After All Of This, You Still Stay?

I met my room-mate today. She is really nice. She's from a small town like me and loves country music and dogs. Her name is Payton. :) I think we're going to get a long, because we respect each other's privacy [what little we have], and things like that. I should post another music day. I should post what I've been doing. But I'm not. I am just writing who I met today. I saw bits of Nick & Norah in the lobby this afternoon. Good stuff. These guys were wrestling and hit me. Sooooo awkward. Didn't hurt? Yeah! I saw this couple who couldn't stand to be away from each other. Yep, that couple. Does not know when it's okay to do PDA. That wasn't a good time. They were all drama n3rds so I didn't say much about it. One thing about my roomie is that she is a morning person! 6 AM she gets up to get dressed and ready. I can't even imagine doing that again. I did that in 9th grade. Nope. Too old. For waking up that is, just no. Anyways, Payton went to PetCo to get a fish and I saw a glimpse of SA. Pretty exciting. Two Wal-Marts! TWO! Blowing my mind. Target. Get out of here with that! Really stoked!
Woah! The internet is working at full blast! :)


#30: Thank you God, for everything.


San Angelo.

Wow, okay. So I moved up to San Angelo for school. It's been a whirlwind of a week[s]. First, I had a going away dinner and a lot of people came by! So, I totally made it to SA by the grace of God. All of the stuff I got for my dorm was all Him. I didn't have the money to do anything, and God made a way. He's always there helping me and guiding me. My first night here no one was here. It was just me, and it was weird sleeping in a new place. Not my futon. Today I met the girls who share the bathroom! They seem nice. My roomie isn't here yet, but hopefully tomorrow she will be. :) I found all my classes, and they are basically in a square. That's that! I passed by the nursing complex when I was walking, and imagined going there for all classes. A year and a half with summer classes. Wow, I'll be done. I met my neighbor, and he's really nice.

Day 3. A song that makes you happy.

Music makes me happy, but one song that I can pick off my brain is "Go Away" by Eisley. It's a song of sadness, but to me I love it. The voice, the instrumentation, and the words. They all flow and I can't get enough. I listened to it leaving home. I welled up, but I know this is where I should be. I felt so...conflicted at home. Even though I had my friends, it just felt...weirdly depressing. Here, I can clear my head and realize what Rachel wants. Also, grow. I don't mind being away from everyone, I've always kind of alone. Plus, they're always a phone call/facebook/text away. No time to be sad! I'm at ASU!


#29: Awkward. Awkward. Awkward me.


Britney Looking Like 1st Prize.

Backwards & Frontwards.

I posted just because of this:

Day 2. Your least favorite song.

I can tell that this will be a hard.
I want to say Ke$ha. Or T-Swift. Lady Ga-ga. Justin Beaver.
Insert 2009-2010 pop-indie band here. Nikki Minaj. Brokencyde. 3Oh3. Breathe Carolina. Blood On The Dance Floor. Or any band who thinks swaying a keytar is making music. No, but I'm not going to say them.

"Piece Of Me" by Britney Spears.

No good. I hate that song and how many nominations it got at the VMAs when NOBODY knew about it's existence. You know what? That whole Blackout album was just horrbs. Everything about it...needs a second look over.
Britney...do better. kthanks.


#28: I want to be able to walk through walls, cure disease, but I'm not Jesus and you're just a boy.

I Should Not Have Been.


Eeek! I Should've Started Earlier!

Hey, okay.

2011. Woah.
I should have started earlier with this post but I wanted to make it on the very first day of 2011.
Made it!
~Whew!~ So, I am going to start a music monthly challenge. I'm excited! You should be too!
In other news, I know this is gross but I got a visit from Aunt Flo! I'm thanking God because I've has been missing her. It's really a blessing. This is like...anti-blog subject matter. She came on New Year's Eve! Surprise! I was at someone's house. Almost a fml, but I was okay. :)
I went over to my friend's house and we had sparkling grape juice and got "toe up". Well, no. So much fun. I saw The Jerk for the first time. A lot of hype. A lotttttt.

Day 1. Your favorite song.

I can't even answer that. So much music flows through me. If I had to pick a song, I'd choose one of my current obsessions.

Where Have You Been? by Manchester Orchestra.
My lovely friend introduced me to them. I knew they were a band, but I didn't think it was good music. So wrong. Just the way Andy Hull sings is enough for me. So much emotion. I was looking through different picture, fashion blogs and just blown away at how pretty they are! Women who devote themselves to blogging. Getting paid. What I like about some of them [can't speak for all], is it's not about the money. I still want a degree. And college. Which I am going to in a week. It hasn't hit me. It hasn't hit me that I have to pack up all of my stuff and life and move. No...but it will. I'll be 22 this year. I can't believe it. Bye for now.

♥ and the new year,


So this is the new year.
And I don't feel any different.
The clanking of crystal
Explosions off in the distance.

So this is the new year

And I have no resolutions
For self assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions.

So everybody put your best suit or dress on

Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
As thirty dialogues bleed into one.

#28: Sufferin' succotash.
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