And Now The Bitter Taste of Olive Oil Is On Your Lips.


On Monday, I was at the Post Office, and I saw this man protesting against Obama. I was dumb and did not have my phone to take a picture. It was insane, basically. This guy has signs everywhere walking around with a sign hanging from his neck saying that Obama is taking away health care and he is lazy, etc. Bad things all around. I was pretty sure that what they were doing was against the law. The Post Office is like a Federal...place. I mean, you can't just set up shop and parade around with that kind of propaganda. The guy who was in charge was walking about and telling people about it. Well, he only talked to the white old guys. He only said something when I stopped and stared at his signs. Today, I called the Post, to ask for information about this guy and all the information they had was who he was with. Turns out he is supporting http://www.larouchepac.com/. This guy here is a Democratic candidate who ran 8 times! I think for President or something. He is very ignorant person who has been to jail for fraud. So stupid to present your beliefs like that. I think you aren't gaining much ground when you mud sling to that extent. He is very radical even though I don't like using that word for this guy because I use it for good things. I'm not big on politics. But! I know when you're doing it wrong. This guy is. He is a loss is more than a gain. Good jorb. Not voting for you. I know he isn't the only political figure who goes this route, but this is first time I've seen it to this degree with my own eyes.

Maaan, and as I said, I'm not too big on politics but this doesn't want me to join his team at all. Or support anything. It's just very tacky and I'm sure it's effective but it's giving negative affects. The lady who picked up the phone even asked if I was the one who turned the guy in. Well. Allergy season! So awesome! Not really. I feel so drowsy, and everything is a haze.

-______- What medicine should I take, because right now I am a cold turkey. My nose is bare---I don't have any and I need some. Let's put it that way. Please leave suggestions in the comments. :D It will be greatly appreciated! For now, it's off to do stuff at work!



#6: When I was in jr. high I would get anxious at night that I would be killed in my sleep.


Hope For The Hopeless

I was listening to A Fine Frenzy and could not help myself.

The carpet smells of sunshine.
Your hair. Your flowing hair.
It slips through my fingers and onto your face.
Your heavenly face.
I want to be blessed with that mane.
So kissing my forehead is all the more intense.
Mysterious and familiar.
The house is now ours to do what we will.
Just like our bodies and minds.
This ring signifies so much more than a bond and a promise.
I love you.
Please stay with me and bask in the white sun.
You smile more than ever.
I love this most; the scowl was too queer.
Yep, I said that!
Lay here with me.

#6: Reality television is like a play...no one is real anymore.

My Kind's Your Kind

Oh say say say! ;D

How are you guys? These days pass so fast. Pizza night! On Friday, since paint fumes were all over and I couldn't get
to my desk I brought my trusty Bible to work to find some scripture on my problem from before about my faith. So, while I was sitting, I was looking up scripture about dress and holiness. I kept getting a mind block, basically. I just could not focus and really get into the Word. I don't know why. So, I hopped onto the computer to see what others had to say about UPC standards and stuff. Off topic: those labels are ridiculous. Anyway, I saw a lot of negative stuff about it, and then I just started to pray. I asked God to help me find something somewhere that can guide me. I Googled once more and I found http://www.whyileft.org/ Blown away, dude. Not even kidding. It's this guy who was Pentecostal, and now is another faith. The only sections I was interested in was the standards and stuff, but he made some good points about my faith. It really opened my eyes. To a point. I still want to figure this out for myself. I am scared of rejection of my brothers & sisters. I'm happy because I found something that deep inside I've been looking for. Answers to the question, "why?" I'm hesitant of the future. I don't know if I'm ready for what's after my realization. What comes next? If you want to go to the website, feel free. I just want to share how I felt. While I reading the text and following along with my Bible, I was welling up. I was tearing up. It felt like a part of my heart had been flip-flopped. I don't know how to explain how many holes in my Christian foundation I felt at that moment. Unreal. I emailed my sister about the site, and what happened. She read through it, and called that night. We talked about it and kind of came to a decision. We both knew it wasn't really a decision but something we were going to do. We just said it out loud. Pentecostalism is what we grew up and we know it's right. Yes, it's not perfect but I know I haven't lost anything being in church and having a personal relationship with God. Being close to Him and knowing His voice. Nothing wrong with that! I don't want to go away from that. It would be worse. The most...devastating. I do want to learn and cope. Find my way in this...Truth. I feel like I'm taking the first steps to something great. Greater than my lifetime; but it feels like it would hurt. That's what I'm scared up. That pain and how quickly it can come. I just need to pray. Look what I did today!

They look rough, I know...I know. I'm working on it. Kthanks. Working on the music block. I think the pictures will work. We will see! 21. It's crazy. This year will be different; I feel it.

bye guys!


#5: Pokemon is not that interesting. =/



The smell of the fresh paint is overpowering at work today. People are sitting outside. I taste poison. :(

#4: I think one foot is bigger than the other.



I don't know what that site is about. I think it's another We Heart It. Recently, I have these massive bumps on my legs. Near my ankles. I don't know what they are, but they are really itchy. :( It came up suddenly. My ankles are swolleeeenn. They're cankles now. Oooh-er. Typical Wednesday. Oh man, paid for my gas in 75% change. Yes I did. Have you ever did that? I was praying about gas for my car, and food for the apartment, and God provided! :D Always, and on time. <3

♥ + everything else,

#3: I love that show, Hoarders. Maybe I am one?

= ♥


And Then It Hit Me!

I can't sit here and say that,
you have not spoken truth.
Fragile, teary-eyed and crossed.
Double crossed.
Our midnight confessions left a bitter taste in my mouth,
as did my confession to the Father.
I want to take it back.
Truth should be heard, not spoken sometimes.
It's as if my body is made of different pieces, scattered and half buried.
I dug them out, but you still hold my skeleton key.
Cut and slash your way to victory & peace.
I need more than just time for these wounds.

I just went for that. I saw that, and out a poem goes!

Rachel :)

#2: I don't think what I write makes sense to anyone. Maybe because I just wrote a poem free form...maybe.


What Is It Like?

Hey guys! I was going to write evr'day, but I am just going to write now! I had a sickly, but fun weekend! I have been waking up feeling really bad. [Nasally.] Gross snotty things, but I'm guessing it's my allergies. We've had so much rain. Almost everyday this week! Or last week; however you want to look at it! It makes me sad. Everything is soggy, and don't get me wrong, I love snuggling under cold covers when it's raining and it lulling me to sleep but I can't do that. I have to go outside. Not fun. I have a book list going of stuff I need to read but Friday I just pushed it all aside and checked out some poetry! Whoops! :) I am in the need for some Earthly poems. I checked out a modern book, Emily's, and E.E. Cummings. My! That guy is something else! Wrote some steamy stuff. I like it though; I like when people burst through your expectations of them and what their life is. For some reason, it makes me happy. Yeah, good things. I'm on Emily now. I checked out a big book of hers. o___o I probably just should have limited myself. That is a lot of Emily. Ahem, so that's on my agenda along with school and life. Ahh, just busy busy. My lovely friend and her boyfriend came to my job on Saturday and brought me a present. It was really sweet of them. I seriously don't know how to express my love for everyone at times. It kinda overflows. ^////^ Not even kidding. I started on my story for Creative Writing! The class is so slack, I really don't know what we are doing or writing about. She really gives us our freedom to do whatever. I just would like to know...where we are as far as writing topics. We talked about our inner critic, so I wrote about that. To put it briefly, she is a snooty, pessimistic, smarty version of me. She wears cat eye glasses, narrow eyes, and a strong sense of accomplishment all the time. And she puts me down. I wanted my character or me, to think she was a real person and come to find out that she is apart of who she is as a writer and a person. It's really simple to explain, but hard to write out with dialogue and stuff like that. I'm glad I have this blog because it really helps. In ways I can not even begin to understand. I'm starting a project; I will write one fleeting thought from my mind or a truth at the end of each of my entries for 100 days! You'll see just how much stuff I think about or how small my imagination is. Hopefully the latter. Hahaha. I hope you keep up with me or start one yourself! I think it will be fantastic. If I remember each time. Haaaaaa! Kay.

I'm reading:

Him & Him & Her.

bye-bye love doves!

[Mr. Cummings was nauuughty!]

#1: My mom has a family who won't even talk to her.


Elipses, Eclipses

I'm concert deprived. I really want to go to Vampire Weekend's show on October 7th! It's on a Thursday. I have class on that day. Curse you math!! And then! On November 11th, Motion City Soundtrack is flipping coming!! I was so so happy! They were on Warped, and I didn't go but this is my second chance!! I want to go so bad. The bands who are on tour with theeemmmm....ugh. D=< Say Anything. I don't even know if I'm going or not. I want to. MCS. Ohhh my heart.
I saw the Michael Graves Misfits is coming as well this year. I just don't know about that.

I have 69 posts. Muhahahaha!


In The Company Of My Peers

Hey. :)

What a week! So surprising, sad, and inspiring at the same time. [I'm very emotional, okay?] I grew older and matured. I guess? Hahaha, I have such lovely friends. I really do. They totally surprised me and I really am blessed to have them. No joke. Tons of homework. Not fun. It's so weird, because I was totally broke the past two weeks. Somehow God made it possible for me to get around and hang out with everyone. ^___^ Heck yes! Words can not describe. We Heart It, one of my favorite websites is asking donations because they can't pay for it anymore. So many people browse it everyday. That's great! But bad because it's so much slower now. :P I hope everything works out...tonight I went to writing class and I really enjoyed myself. I like that we have deadlines and not fixed homework all the time and our stories are OURS. We make them up and write them. No prompts. No lengths. Just our own imaginations. This is our second meeting because we only meet once a week, but I am looking forward to what we are going to do in the future. I am super excited. Best class out of my schedule! On the down side, I had a test in chemistry, and then I waited 2.5 hours for our lab, and all we did is get a rule sheet about the lab. Wasted. Time. Plus, it smelled so bad. I don't know if my allergies are giving me a sensitive nose or something, but it's just been really bad for me. :( It gives me light headaches and stuff. Maybe I should go to a doctor? I'm not sure. We can't afford it right now, but God will provide. I felt like I should automatically change when I turned 21 on Friday. Psh, I still have growing up to do. Hahaha! Me & mom are trying to make it one day at a time. That's all we can do. God willing. Good-bye!


PS: Holy guac, I got this catalog for work to buy jars and stuff and there was a Mammy Jar! Straight up racist stuff from Pennsylvania! :O Could not believe.

PPS: Sleeptime!


When You Had None, I Gave You Plenty.

Hello friends!
Wooo! What a weekend! I seriously did not have a dull or chill moment all 4 days. Friday, I get off work and go straight to Austin to pick up my sister from school! Straight driving, and she drove back. My mom had almost had a heart attack because of a little rain. I had to go, because there was no way I would wake up and drive. I totally think my alignment is off because my car [Anna] is wobbly now. That makes me sad. :( Other than that, we got home at 2 am and slept late in the day Saturday. We went to Pearland randomly? And when we came back...THEY PLANNED A SURPRISE PARTY FOR ME!!!! I couldn't believe it!! I was totally taken by surprise. It was amazing that one of my friends planned it all! She was so sneaky! Oooh. ;D

There were princess [Ariel included], napkins & a table cloth! So great.
It was an early birthday party. I loved it. I have some of the greatest friends and my mom and sister was in on it too! :) Sunday was church and a revival. The evangelist was my pastor's grandson so it was kinda cool. He is in college and married. Him and his wife are so cute. :3 Monday we got ready for Austin. On the road, I saw the cloud picture! What do you think it looks like? :) My sister drove up and I drove back. I stopped by my friend's house in Smithville! So much fun! I really enjoyed myself. We were cuttin' up on evr'thang! And so was her husband. :D So much fun that I got home at midnight. 9:35 class the next morning. Crazy. I cleared up my schedule issues with my VA counselor. Praying about that. I had a dream on Sunday night! It was just me opening up a letter addressed to me and it was a check for over 1,000 dollars!! WOAH! And when I opened the check, my sight zoomed in on the amount. I don't know what God has in store, I can't figure Him out and when I think I do, He throws a curve ball. So, I'm not going to over think or worry about it. Try not to. Heh. Today, at work I had to meet the person selling me one my textbooks, and let them know I couldn't pay for it. It was hardcore raining outside and the wind was ridiculous! So, I run run run to the courthouse next door and I didn't see anyone waiting with a book! Also, I was looking for a girl; not a girl. He's a dude who has the book, so I went back to the museum and then back to the courthouse. He's all eating. Ha, it was funny. He gave me the book anyway. T____T That was so sweet and I'm very lucky. Blessed, I mean. I'm going to try to get a schedule for updating music and pictures but today was the first day I was on my computer! I haven't touched it since last week. o_o;;; So, we'll see how this week turns out! kbyes!


PS: Aren't those pork rinds too much? I saw them at Wal-Mart. :P Gnarly!


I Never Thought They'd Get Me Here.

Sometimes I just want to write and write. I'm so happy that my friend has a blog. She is just a ball of hidden thoughts and it's about time those got out. I'm proud of her. :) Okay, rant time! I was in math last night, and we had a break. I saw I got an email from my VA counselor about classes. Okay, I'll read it during my break. It's basically a nasty email saying what classes I shouldn't be taking and did I even talk to someone before considering these classes and how many hours are going to count. I was so upset that I couldn't even focus on my math quiz after break. I was so mad! Who does she think she is?! Oh, and she got my degree plan wrong!! She's been looking at the wrong plan everytime!!!! AHHHHHHHH! O_____O I just really need to leave this town. She is SO DUMB. Just ridiculously dumb. I've been going to school there...2 and a half years and she still hasn't got her crap together. I couldn't get out faster. I don't want to be trapped here forever and in this big hole of a county. D:<>







http://thesenightsaresleepless.blogspot.com/ [!!] She just started hers, so go read it first!! :D




Go forth & learn something! Haha, I kid. I think I'm missing one...aw! I'm driving to Austin tonight to get my sister from school. I wanted to drive right back, but I might just stay and not hurry back to this dead place. I deserve it, above all. My mini vacation. :) After the first week of night classes, I really like it! It's something about less people and no crowding. :) What I hate is being busy all day and THEN going back to school. That's no fun. Dust, dust, dust everywherez. This was on my mind.

I've got a lot of things to do tonight,
I'm so sick of making lists,
of things I'll never finish.
I've lived here for the last 12 years,
since early 1995.
All of my crap is still in boxes.

But if I had a little more time to kill.
I'll settle every little stupid thing.
Yeah, I think that I would.

For the first time in a long time I can say that I want to try,
to overcome each moment my own way.
I'm not saying that I'm giving up.
I'm just trying not to think as much as I used to.

I still wanna get back on track.
I'll do whatever it takes...
Even if it kills me.

"Even If It Kills Me" by Motion City Soundtrack

I knew there was a reason why that band is so good.


9 TImes Out Of 10 You're Probably Wrong.

I don't even want to talk about until tomorrow. I love you guys.

Sincerity & thanks,
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