The Great Falling Away.

He-he-heyyy guys! :)

2 posts back to back! Wow! So, today was lazy. Woke up at 3 pm and got immediately on the computer. Duuude, yes. I still need to study for my phys exam Monday. =/ Ha! I tagged 'music challenge' last night and did not do it. Fail. Tonight I will, for sure. I totally thought I'd see famous people in Austin last week, because I watched a video of Jack White's new label and he just showed up in Austin and played in a parking lot. I wish I was there! It's so expensive. D': Maybe if I save up the entire year and in 2012, I can go. Probs.




A: I got new shoes! They are cute yellow sandal types. I thought they were tres cute. :3 Target 20 bucks!! I wore them with my fushia tights downtown. I got a compliment. The lady was nice.

B: My lovely, crazy, friend bought me this when she visited San Antonio! It's a Dia de los Muertos figurine. A diva with a glittery dress. She immediately thought of me when she saw that. Also, her husband saw a dead band in a case and thought of me. :) So sweet of them! I've been to San Antonio just once and once driving through it. She tells me it's beautiful.

C: a mucky picture of Austin downtown. There was so much going on! There was a live band with a tuba and baritone doing it up in the middle of the street! Also, a rap video was being filmed? Yeah, I actually was in front of them unawares. Crazy. Music everywhere and it made me want Austin more. If that's possible. ;D

Ok, music challenge, sucka.

Day 5. A song that reminds you of someone.

This could be any song. I have a lot of memories tied to songs. Why does this always have to be hard!?!? Jk. "Surf Wax America" by Weezer. I first met my friend from San Angelo, we sung Weezer one Sunday afternoon. That was when I crowned her the coolest Apostolic woman I've ever met.

I loved this song/album way before I met her but this just affirms it. Ahhh, memories.



#45: Something haunts my dreams, don't know what it means.


Talking To Myself Because I Can't Forget.

Wow, I totally posted this prematurely. Anyway! I'm back! I love you and I'm ready to spill my guts all over your floors. [Brains.] The White Stripes broke up!!! D: Whyskis!?! They are a very good band, and I thought they had more to give the world. I guess not. If you don't know who the White Stripes are, I recommend going to Youtube and watching the following titles: "Fell In Love With A Girl", "White Orchid", "I"m Finding It Harder To Be A Gentleman", "Rag & Bone" & "Now Mary". Those are just a few of my favorites. :)

So, the pastor's wife took me to get my hair fixed yesterday. I wasn't too keen on it at first but I guess it looks good! I came back to school and everyone as complimenting me. So, I believe them; I still have to warm up to it, though. She paid for it and everything and said it was God telling her to do it. Also the stuff I need at home to keep my hair up! I def want to try to keep it nice and also it makes a lot of questions pop up in my mind about staying in San Angelo. I don't know if I'm supposed to. Time is passing by fast, and I don't have a place to live after this semester is over. No summer school this year. Thank God. I need a much needed break. So, Spring Break. A week ago was so awesome. I loved it. The first half, I went to Austin to pick up my sister to bring her back to SA. I showed her around my school, the town, and the church. I missed her. My roomie was being ultra nice to her! Oh maaaan, she let her use her bed. Kind of awk, but whatevs! On Thursday, we traded and went to Austin to UT and went around the city. I love it. SXSW was going on, but I couldn't make it to a full show but I did overhear a band covering "Are You Gonna Be My Girl?". Impressive. Two of my sister's friends came along as well and we stayed in a sketch motel because all of hotels in the whole city was booked solid. The hotel was...bad. Peeling wallpaper, curious neighbors, and bad, broken boards under the dirty carpet. Slept in that for two days. Went to Pfluegerville to pick up my friend and head back to SA. A very good good week. I saw a Che Guevara:

look-a-like in Cici's! We went to a thrift store; ok, I always read fashion blogs where people get jewels thrifting. The stuff they buy is very pretty. I NEVER see that stuff where I go. All duds. But not this time, we went to this family thrift store and Ifound Vans!! VANS! Black & in my size! $5.45! :D :D :D

I snatched those shoes up so fast. Also, Freaky Friday's [Lindsay Lohan's version] soundtrack. Diamonds in the rough! In utter unbelief. I see the light now. I am addicted to plus size fashion. I lurve it. I do! I can't say my blog is all fashion; I do talk about other stuff. That's what bothered me yesterday at the salon was that both the hairdresser and the lady were thinking I should eat better and exercise, which is not a bad idea. I'm not the fittest, but they talked like I felt like the lowest human being on Earth. I had no self-esteem or confidence in myself. Which is not true. I DO feel good sometimes and I've seen skinnier girls who don't have no self-respect for their bodies. They give the vibe of 'I hate my body and no one should look at me.' Or the other extreme: 'I need all of your attention, because I hate being alone with myself.' I've seen it. No lie. I wish they had seen me last summer. I was bigger. Five weeks of school left. I can't believe how fast it's gone. I knew I'd fit in after while. Just give me time and I'll find my friends on my time. :)


#44: Pretty things are cute things.


Tweet, Twirp.

I got my hood up and I'm ready for anything.

I just finished a portion of my Phys quiz. Well, actually it was homework, but that looks pretty rad. Browsing as usual on this late night. I've had a busy short week. I can't believe it's Friday. Crazy. Crayzee. It's weird, but what I don't like about the computer lab at night is it scares me! I don't know what that's about. I'm mad; Avril is such a SELLOUTZ! Just kidding, she never sold in. Uhm, her new song is out and I'm var disappoint. Kinda sounds like everything else out? "LUK @ AT meIZ, i'M GONNA parteee untiL i kant NEmorezxzzz!!!!1111!!"

Go away party music.

Save it for...let's say, parties? Hmm!

Spring Break has arrived and I couldn't be more happier! So excite!!! Austin today. San Angelo tomorrow. I'm in the quiet room and there was one other guy here. We were both giggling. It was perty adorable, except he gasped with laughter. Hmmm, no sir.


#43: So be...very kind. Don't let the world fall on your shoulders.


Holding Out For The Big Connection.


I missed that. ^
In the computer lab, and there are these two guys who are on the computers in front of me. They are d-bags at best. Wow, it's amazing how people are so senseless. My prayer life feels like it's increasing. I'm so excited. I'm ready for what's next. I really miss my iPod. I sent it off to get fixed and it's been almost three weeks. I took it for granted. Now, I just want it back...fixed. DX

MCS; the lab I'm in...open 24/7. I. Have. Wasted. So. Much. Energy. It's a minute from my dorm. Well, now I know where to go. Printed out my lab so I can sleep in beforehand. Ha! Tomorrow[today] is my math exam.


#42: I dare you.


I'm A Half Life.

So, I washed clothes tonight. This morning, what have you. Saw one of my friends I made here. I actually was praying for him. We always seem to miss each other. I'm glad we got to talk. This week is going to rock because it's the week before SB! Get pumped! Get excited! So, as I was doing clothes, I met this guy named Ryan. He's very laid back Korean boy. By boy I mean 18. Freshman, but that's ok. He was nice. Shooted the breeze? Kicked the can? Whatever the colloquialism is for talking. It was cool; I like those occasions where there isn't a forced environment but it's natural and people don't have to be extra uninterested. I know I'll be here more. :) Count on that.

i just want back into your head.

#41: I'm really getting old. Old and over you.


A Story, Not Much.

Ethereal. That's what you said to me. How my eyes look with sadness in them and my mask on tight. Life is like an upbeat song until you fall off the top 40 horse. I can't stand this gallop; slow it down. I am mid height, brown hair, brown eyes, red lips, and a weird smile. I get itchy fast and I can't stand when I get caught up in a boy. In you, boy. I wear clothes that don't quite feel like mine. Maybe someone else. I'm not quite sure but I stand firm in our kiss. Our soft, promising kiss. You had to leave anyway. That kiss wasn't going to make you stay. Make you promise to take my hand in marriage. No. No...I want to make you stay and have picnics in the forest and whisper about our futures. We can't now. The train arrives and my hand that is warmed in yours falls dead and limp by my side as you take steps backward. And now you turn fully around to leave. I run after you, grab the tip of your coat, and reach for your face and give you a smoldering kiss. It's quick, it's sincere, and it stops you in your tracks. That destination can wait; I want us. You want us. That should be enough. No, that doesn't happen. That never happened. I am left. Left to tend to myself.

I just felt the need to write tonight. I bought the new Eisley CD and started writing. I felt like it was needed. I am so happy to see the weekend. It's been a long week and then after next week, SPRING BREEEAK! Yay!! I Googled how to be approachable. Can you tell I'm lonely?

bye for now!


#40: You would take the cherished people that I know.


Sinto-me cansado, como se eu não posso ir.

I feel like I just can't do it today. My brain is gong 100 mph, but my body is going....5? I just want to curl up and sleep for a long, long, long time. I hate this feeling. I had lab, and all I did was just sit there and stare at my assignment. All of my lab partners were gone so I joined another group. Three guys and me. Nothing got done. =/ Ughhh, and another class is up. This is not my space of venting, I just want to write something about it. I have a small crush. I'm scared of it, though. A lot of things come into consideration, because I actually want this to work. Maybe I should Google how to talk to guys in that way. I am 14. Bye guys.


#39: Friends sing together, la-la-la-la!
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