I'm Here For You.

I lay awake.
Sweat slips into my ear.
Gross!
He's running laps in my mind.
So, so...unfair.
I assume the fetal position.
He isn't here.
He isn't laying beside me.
We're not laughing at the silliness of the quiet that surrounds us.
We don't laugh at all.
Haha, ok, I am.
I want to let it all out.
Scream.
Yell.
Something.
Of course, I can't, I am one of those people.
Hesistant and reluctant to reach out and just call you.
Let you know that I'm okay; just having one of those girlish moments.
Not a total breakdown.
I'll be more than fine.
His scent is here and gone.
I want to find a way to capture his essence, bottle it up, and throw it out to sea.
Away from me.
Away from my torn heart.




Spring I was a young child.
When it got colder, I saw the colder side of the world.
A place I dared not to go on my own will.
A forced push.
Fall has turbulent memories.
I can't push them back any longer.
Winter feels like I can't get a grip on reality.
I am in the middle of the hell storm of Sodom & Gomorrah.
Get. Me. Out.
Where is my light? I need to see in this pitch black evil.
A rescue, an escape.
I am fall to my knees and cry out in total honesty.
I have found my way.
The path is less traveled, but I like it that way.
Come with me.
I don't want to walk to redemption empty-handed.


PS: Sorry this sounds a bit emotional, but it was a request and I am lacking in the blog dept. ♥