Whispers, chants, and phrases spill out.
The rain beats a steady rhythm.
I feel a lot older than I look.
The years of toiling have take its toll.
You still aren't mine.
You walk freely unaware of what your future holds.
Unaware of me.
8.31.2011
Misinformed.
Whispers, chants, and phrases spill out.
The rain beats a steady rhythm.
I feel a lot older than I look.
The years of toiling have take its toll.
You still aren't mine.
You walk freely unaware of what your future holds.
Unaware of me.
8.14.2011
A Brand New Horizon.
God can use you in such a mighty way.
Thursday. I woke up early. Way earlier than I am used to, and I turn on my phone because for some reason I can't get back to sleep. I see all of these messages waiting on me and then a message from a friend who I haven't talked to in nearly a month. He was asking how I was doing, and I said good. Then, he told me he lost his job. They just let him go without warning that morning. I so know how unemployment feels. God told me to pray for him. I told God, "Whyyyy me, Lord? I haven't talked to this fool in weeks! He just ups and texts me. Nooo." I felt like Jonah. Running, running, running away. The burden for the prayer was so strong I had to do it. You always need to follow the will of God. No matter what. No matter how you feel. So, I called him and left a vmail. For half an hour we played phone tag until he called me back. I told him I called because the Lord wanted me to pray with him. He was SO stoked. Like, seriously. It was crazy how excited he was. So, I went ahead and did that and he started crying really bad. He was amazed at how we were different faiths but God used me. He is Mormon and I'm Pentecostal. A month and a half ago I gave him a scripture about not selling the truth and I told him, "Dude, don't follow non-truth, especially when you know what's right." He insists that's where he should be right now, but no one at his church prayed for him. No one fellowships with him and he told me flat out he needed more Christian friends. To uplift you; it made me get in perspective because I DO have family and friends who believe like me. It was must be hard going through life without anyone. Also, like, I think there is some sore of atmosphere between us because I told him about the old guy who asked me out who lives next door and he wanted to kick him in the throat. =/ I...thought that was hilarious. Anyway, he asked me if I thought of him that way since he is 11 years older than me. I said no, because they are two different people. I think that he wants to say something to me, but doesn't know how. I could be reading way into this like I always do, but something is different about this guy. I'm going to try to ignore it. HMMM! Anyway, he is doing better and I'm praying for a better job for him. A week away is school!! Can't. Wait! I invented a flash mob for my town, and we're doing our first event next Thursday! Heck yeah!! :D
♥,
Rachel
Thursday. I woke up early. Way earlier than I am used to, and I turn on my phone because for some reason I can't get back to sleep. I see all of these messages waiting on me and then a message from a friend who I haven't talked to in nearly a month. He was asking how I was doing, and I said good. Then, he told me he lost his job. They just let him go without warning that morning. I so know how unemployment feels. God told me to pray for him. I told God, "Whyyyy me, Lord? I haven't talked to this fool in weeks! He just ups and texts me. Nooo." I felt like Jonah. Running, running, running away. The burden for the prayer was so strong I had to do it. You always need to follow the will of God. No matter what. No matter how you feel. So, I called him and left a vmail. For half an hour we played phone tag until he called me back. I told him I called because the Lord wanted me to pray with him. He was SO stoked. Like, seriously. It was crazy how excited he was. So, I went ahead and did that and he started crying really bad. He was amazed at how we were different faiths but God used me. He is Mormon and I'm Pentecostal. A month and a half ago I gave him a scripture about not selling the truth and I told him, "Dude, don't follow non-truth, especially when you know what's right." He insists that's where he should be right now, but no one at his church prayed for him. No one fellowships with him and he told me flat out he needed more Christian friends. To uplift you; it made me get in perspective because I DO have family and friends who believe like me. It was must be hard going through life without anyone. Also, like, I think there is some sore of atmosphere between us because I told him about the old guy who asked me out who lives next door and he wanted to kick him in the throat. =/ I...thought that was hilarious. Anyway, he asked me if I thought of him that way since he is 11 years older than me. I said no, because they are two different people. I think that he wants to say something to me, but doesn't know how. I could be reading way into this like I always do, but something is different about this guy. I'm going to try to ignore it. HMMM! Anyway, he is doing better and I'm praying for a better job for him. A week away is school!! Can't. Wait! I invented a flash mob for my town, and we're doing our first event next Thursday! Heck yeah!! :D
♥,
Rachel
8.10.2011
My Heartbeat, My Life.
Was thrifting today. I didn't find much. =/
I had a dream that I was writing in my blog. Maybe it was a sign? School is starting soon and I can't wait. I really missed it. I like work; I do, but going back to school and getting back on track is going to be good for me. Plus..now I don't feel so anxious about how I transferred. I don't feel old or ridiculously embarrassed. Gold & blue!
♥,
Rachel!
I had a dream that I was writing in my blog. Maybe it was a sign? School is starting soon and I can't wait. I really missed it. I like work; I do, but going back to school and getting back on track is going to be good for me. Plus..now I don't feel so anxious about how I transferred. I don't feel old or ridiculously embarrassed. Gold & blue!
♥,
Rachel!
7.24.2011
Picture Perfect.
What's up? :)
So, I'm only working and thinking about when school starts. I still have no internet at home so I make my trek to the library or the cool coffee shop part of Hastings. They play The Decemberists and Tegan/Sara. Win. At work, I talk to people all day long. It's a call center. Thursday. I was really thinking about what if an actor calls in? Little did I know that's just what happened. Mr. Toy? Okay, has a credit card obvs. Is going to be in this movie called Moneyball starring Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill? Wow, I was amazed. This is a little of how our conversation went.
MT- "Thank you so much for helping me with my credit card information! I needed to change my address because I live in San Francisco and I'm on location for a movie!"
R- "What? Oh really? What movie?"
MT- "I'm going to be a pitcher in this movie called Moneyball, and it stars Brad Pitt! It's shooting in LA and I'm over there right now. The reason why I live in San Fran is because it's 5 hours away if I'm needed to go there. I can't live in LA because everyone is too spaced out!! But you should SO go see it!"
R- "WHAT?!!? OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG, heck yes I will! That is sooooo awesome! I can't believe it! Woah, so is Brad and Jonah nice people?!!!"
MT- "Totally."
So, yeah, that's how our conversation went. He was so nice and I am still in shock of why that guy has a credit card anyway. :D Good stuff. They are looking into moving me into another department, though. It's taking me too long to pick up the flow of things. As long as I don't get fired, I'm fine but I'm already comfy with my co-workers. I seriously like everyone a lot and it would be a bummer to leave. I guess I can add them on facebook or something. =/ We'll see how this week goes. I'm going home week after next and I can't wait. I really miss my family. I think that's the worst about living 7 hours away is that they're not close by. School is coming up very soon, so I told myself I'd go see them before then. I def want to do it. Also, God has been dealing with me lately. I had a scripture for my friend today.
So, I'm only working and thinking about when school starts. I still have no internet at home so I make my trek to the library or the cool coffee shop part of Hastings. They play The Decemberists and Tegan/Sara. Win. At work, I talk to people all day long. It's a call center. Thursday. I was really thinking about what if an actor calls in? Little did I know that's just what happened. Mr. Toy? Okay, has a credit card obvs. Is going to be in this movie called Moneyball starring Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill? Wow, I was amazed. This is a little of how our conversation went.
MT- "Thank you so much for helping me with my credit card information! I needed to change my address because I live in San Francisco and I'm on location for a movie!"
R- "What? Oh really? What movie?"
MT- "I'm going to be a pitcher in this movie called Moneyball, and it stars Brad Pitt! It's shooting in LA and I'm over there right now. The reason why I live in San Fran is because it's 5 hours away if I'm needed to go there. I can't live in LA because everyone is too spaced out!! But you should SO go see it!"
R- "WHAT?!!? OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG, heck yes I will! That is sooooo awesome! I can't believe it! Woah, so is Brad and Jonah nice people?!!!"
MT- "Totally."
So, yeah, that's how our conversation went. He was so nice and I am still in shock of why that guy has a credit card anyway. :D Good stuff. They are looking into moving me into another department, though. It's taking me too long to pick up the flow of things. As long as I don't get fired, I'm fine but I'm already comfy with my co-workers. I seriously like everyone a lot and it would be a bummer to leave. I guess I can add them on facebook or something. =/ We'll see how this week goes. I'm going home week after next and I can't wait. I really miss my family. I think that's the worst about living 7 hours away is that they're not close by. School is coming up very soon, so I told myself I'd go see them before then. I def want to do it. Also, God has been dealing with me lately. I had a scripture for my friend today.
"Buy the truth and sell it not." Prov 23:23
I let him know, but those words speak a lot of truth. Never stray or settle for something that is partial truth when you know in your heart it's wrong. You have to set that standard. Jesus did it for us. He didn't half way die on the cross. He gave his life for us; the least we can do is serve him fully. That goes for me too; one of my favorite band's lead singers was potentially a satanist. No, I can't just let it go. I have actually been avoiding the issue, but I know I can't string along forever. Something has got to give. I hope everyone who reads this has a very blessed week, and has fun for the rest of summer! W0000t! Let's get it, guise!
byeeeeeeeee
♥,
Rachel!
PS: So you know I wasn't telling a story! The movie poster:
Doing work in the streets.
#58: I don't feel old, I feel alive.
byeeeeeeeee
♥,
Rachel!
PS: So you know I wasn't telling a story! The movie poster:
Doing work in the streets.
#58: I don't feel old, I feel alive.
7.10.2011
I Have A Few Quips & Qualms.
Hello, jello!
So I was thinking about my size and everything. My friend, Kat was once a bigger girl and now she has lost weight. It's kind of crazy how we instantly connected and everything. I love how she is always on the same wavelength as me no matter what. When you examine both of our lives we are totally on different paths, ages, and times in our lives. But that's all God, because I seriously couldn't ask for a better friend in a new place. A new town and I have someone who is there for me. Not only that, her family is so cute! Her husband likes me a lot, and I like him too! He's so great and so are her 5 kids. Count it! Insane in the membrane, but they do it. All day, everyday. So, this weekend I vowed to finally put this plan into action and interview her.
1. When did you initially start gaining weight and noticing it?
When my parents got a divorce, I started really gaining weight. I went through jr. high and high school. During high school I lost weight, but then when I had my first child I gained a lot of weight. By 20 years old, I was miserable.
2. How was day-to-day?
I took it out on the ones I loved. My husband then took it on me by making me feel so small so I then lived vicariously through my daughter.
3. For a lot of bigger women, the dating scene is pretty ridiculous. Even for me, it's pretty unbearable, how did you deal with it?
I got pregnant in high school, so I really didn't have to deal with dating as a women in her twenties. I also got married quickly afterward, so dating didn't phase me really.
4. So, what life like after you started losing weight?
I felt empowered. I was in control; not food. I felt like I could face the world again. I saw a change in how people treated me. It was odd, but I knew it was because I was smaller.
5. How did your family react to this big change in your life?
They were supportive in everything that I did. I really a
ppreciate and love them.
6. Do you tell other bigger people about your story and your life?
I won't go out and project it to just anyone. Only people who ask for advice on it. I don't just assume people who are big are struggling with their weight. That can get in you in trouble.
So, I finally got this flippin' interview DONE! I'm ridiculous. The point behind this whole entry was to show everyone that you never know about people's past. This lady...if you saw her in the street, you'd never know. She carries herself well. I think that we all need to take a step back and reassess the situation at hand. With bigger people [myself included] people kind of assume we're miserable. I don't know, I'm not. People constantly push their opinions on what I should do about my horrible weight. Whatever. I say whatevs because I know who I am. I do. I'm 21, and a college student. The world is at my fingertips. Sooooo, yeah. And I'm sorry that it took weeks to finish this up. I'm a hot mess.
♥♥♥ you!
Rachel!
So I was thinking about my size and everything. My friend, Kat was once a bigger girl and now she has lost weight. It's kind of crazy how we instantly connected and everything. I love how she is always on the same wavelength as me no matter what. When you examine both of our lives we are totally on different paths, ages, and times in our lives. But that's all God, because I seriously couldn't ask for a better friend in a new place. A new town and I have someone who is there for me. Not only that, her family is so cute! Her husband likes me a lot, and I like him too! He's so great and so are her 5 kids. Count it! Insane in the membrane, but they do it. All day, everyday. So, this weekend I vowed to finally put this plan into action and interview her.
1. When did you initially start gaining weight and noticing it?
When my parents got a divorce, I started really gaining weight. I went through jr. high and high school. During high school I lost weight, but then when I had my first child I gained a lot of weight. By 20 years old, I was miserable.
2. How was day-to-day?
I took it out on the ones I loved. My husband then took it on me by making me feel so small so I then lived vicariously through my daughter.
3. For a lot of bigger women, the dating scene is pretty ridiculous. Even for me, it's pretty unbearable, how did you deal with it?
I got pregnant in high school, so I really didn't have to deal with dating as a women in her twenties. I also got married quickly afterward, so dating didn't phase me really.
4. So, what life like after you started losing weight?
I felt empowered. I was in control; not food. I felt like I could face the world again. I saw a change in how people treated me. It was odd, but I knew it was because I was smaller.
5. How did your family react to this big change in your life?
They were supportive in everything that I did. I really a
ppreciate and love them.6. Do you tell other bigger people about your story and your life?
I won't go out and project it to just anyone. Only people who ask for advice on it. I don't just assume people who are big are struggling with their weight. That can get in you in trouble.
So, I finally got this flippin' interview DONE! I'm ridiculous. The point behind this whole entry was to show everyone that you never know about people's past. This lady...if you saw her in the street, you'd never know. She carries herself well. I think that we all need to take a step back and reassess the situation at hand. With bigger people [myself included] people kind of assume we're miserable. I don't know, I'm not. People constantly push their opinions on what I should do about my horrible weight. Whatever. I say whatevs because I know who I am. I do. I'm 21, and a college student. The world is at my fingertips. Sooooo, yeah. And I'm sorry that it took weeks to finish this up. I'm a hot mess.
♥♥♥ you!
Rachel!
#57 I'm baaaack.
6.21.2011
Whot?!
Wooooaaah,
So I was reading Real Simple, and they have some very fab recipes I want to try out. Since, I have my apt and all...yep.
Dips and such. I'm still working on getting Internet at home! Gomenosai. ^___^;;
I just have to work, work, work so I can! It so helps that I know someone at church who hooks up cable.
Gotta go!
♥,
Rachel
PS: These short entries aren't cutting it. =/ I know that already!
So I was reading Real Simple, and they have some very fab recipes I want to try out. Since, I have my apt and all...yep.
Dips and such. I'm still working on getting Internet at home! Gomenosai. ^___^;;
I just have to work, work, work so I can! It so helps that I know someone at church who hooks up cable.
Gotta go!
♥,
Rachel
PS: These short entries aren't cutting it. =/ I know that already!
6.16.2011
Ack, ack, ack!
Gomen!
I'm so sorry!! I suck at updating!! Well, if I had internet maybe. T___T I'm in the process of working so I CAN get internet at my a-p-t. I think that will help tremendously. v_v
Again, sorry!!
We're on the phones now at work, and I was so so nervous! Hopefully, today will be different. They say it will, and I have God on my side.
Look at this!!
The. Coolest. Thing. Ever. :D
Work soon!
♥,
I'm so sorry!! I suck at updating!! Well, if I had internet maybe. T___T I'm in the process of working so I CAN get internet at my a-p-t. I think that will help tremendously. v_v
Again, sorry!!
We're on the phones now at work, and I was so so nervous! Hopefully, today will be different. They say it will, and I have God on my side.
Look at this!!
The. Coolest. Thing. Ever. :D
Work soon!
♥,
Rachel!
#56: What do you get out of these anyway?
6.03.2011
Peekaboo, I Seize You.
Well, hey.
No internet at the apartment. My first two weeks at my new job is done today! To-day. I am so excited!! Twin Atlantic's new album is out as well! Double yes!! I just am so pumped for that. I need to get it. o_o Anyways, so my life has been going and going and going. I wish I could just get on my comp whenever I want [well, to blog not just...turning it on], but I need the funds to pay for 'netz, buns. Ha, anyway. I'm thinking about submitting a photo of myself to this site. It's about chubby fashion and I've been getting really into dressing nicely and finding my personal style. It's a cross between punk/sweet/weird/etc. I don't know.
Work is good. It feels good to earn money. I have trouble just taking money without any reason for it. It's such a blessing, but I don't know. That independent streak comes in. Oh. I think it's pride. Eek, I need to stop that. Let's go get lost right here in the USA. :) RHCP forevs.
I have summer classes, but then I DON'T have summer classes. They start in August...? No idea there, but I need to pay for them soon. I'm at the comm college here. X3 Whoops.
Let's see, kind of nervy about rent and expenses, etc. My parents have been so gracious. The Lord has blessed me with them and here recently, my dad has been coming into the picture. He paid down for a car, paying for gas, and now other stuff like my rent. I wish I could get over my humps. My lovely--no, I mean I am. God is showing me that he isn't a pompous jerk. Not now. He's a lonely old man who has kids who over half of us don't care to know him at all. The ghosts of his past are haunting him hxc. It's eerie, but God save him. Srrsly. My friend who has turned his life around is doing really well with the BSes and all and I'm so proud of him! I just know that he will be a great man of God/saint/cool guy. :D It's there; I see it and he likes that he is more positive. He told me, "I'm glad to have a friend like you." Awww, that is so so nice & sweet. :') Just made my heart melt with friendship love!! I'm glad I can be a good influence in his life and be an example of a good Christian. +2!
On a darker note, I was talking to PRJ, and he said that one of my favorite bands might have a dark secret. The lead singer, might be a Satanist. So sad. I mean, I just---inside, I shut down. I can honestly say that I love this band. The music. It literally crushed me. The singer doesn't talk or ever speak about his beliefs in their music, but to me his personal life is going to come out in his lyrics. No matter what. I have not even talked about this with any of my friends. I just hid it away. I was in denial and I fee like I'm in limbo on what to do.
What next?
:( Ack, I have to blame myself partly. I knew something like this would happen. When I first got into music, I remember praying for God to slowly ween me off of it. Until I didn't need it anymore, because I was guilty for liking secular music. I prayed so sincerely that day and all the other days following until I forgot the prayer, the thought. Now, knowing what I know, I wonder if God still honors that prayer. I know He has listens to me pray to Him and my heart's ultimate desire. I just don't know if this is testament to it. If so, God is radical!
2 hours to finish this blog. Ridiculous. This week is going to be better.
♥,
me!
PS: Guess who is calling me? -pulls lip-
No internet at the apartment. My first two weeks at my new job is done today! To-day. I am so excited!! Twin Atlantic's new album is out as well! Double yes!! I just am so pumped for that. I need to get it. o_o Anyways, so my life has been going and going and going. I wish I could just get on my comp whenever I want [well, to blog not just...turning it on], but I need the funds to pay for 'netz, buns. Ha, anyway. I'm thinking about submitting a photo of myself to this site. It's about chubby fashion and I've been getting really into dressing nicely and finding my personal style. It's a cross between punk/sweet/weird/etc. I don't know.
Work is good. It feels good to earn money. I have trouble just taking money without any reason for it. It's such a blessing, but I don't know. That independent streak comes in. Oh. I think it's pride. Eek, I need to stop that. Let's go get lost right here in the USA. :) RHCP forevs.
I have summer classes, but then I DON'T have summer classes. They start in August...? No idea there, but I need to pay for them soon. I'm at the comm college here. X3 Whoops.
Let's see, kind of nervy about rent and expenses, etc. My parents have been so gracious. The Lord has blessed me with them and here recently, my dad has been coming into the picture. He paid down for a car, paying for gas, and now other stuff like my rent. I wish I could get over my humps. My lovely--no, I mean I am. God is showing me that he isn't a pompous jerk. Not now. He's a lonely old man who has kids who over half of us don't care to know him at all. The ghosts of his past are haunting him hxc. It's eerie, but God save him. Srrsly. My friend who has turned his life around is doing really well with the BSes and all and I'm so proud of him! I just know that he will be a great man of God/saint/cool guy. :D It's there; I see it and he likes that he is more positive. He told me, "I'm glad to have a friend like you." Awww, that is so so nice & sweet. :') Just made my heart melt with friendship love!! I'm glad I can be a good influence in his life and be an example of a good Christian. +2!
On a darker note, I was talking to PRJ, and he said that one of my favorite bands might have a dark secret. The lead singer, might be a Satanist. So sad. I mean, I just---inside, I shut down. I can honestly say that I love this band. The music. It literally crushed me. The singer doesn't talk or ever speak about his beliefs in their music, but to me his personal life is going to come out in his lyrics. No matter what. I have not even talked about this with any of my friends. I just hid it away. I was in denial and I fee like I'm in limbo on what to do.
What next?
:( Ack, I have to blame myself partly. I knew something like this would happen. When I first got into music, I remember praying for God to slowly ween me off of it. Until I didn't need it anymore, because I was guilty for liking secular music. I prayed so sincerely that day and all the other days following until I forgot the prayer, the thought. Now, knowing what I know, I wonder if God still honors that prayer. I know He has listens to me pray to Him and my heart's ultimate desire. I just don't know if this is testament to it. If so, God is radical!
2 hours to finish this blog. Ridiculous. This week is going to be better.
♥,
me!
PS: Guess who is calling me? -pulls lip-
#55: I'm not alright.
5.19.2011
5.16.2011
O, What Better Way To Be A Punk In May!
What's up, guise?!
:)
Monday.
Take it back.
I told you I'd do it! Monday's outfit. I was going to use the internet at the library. :)
Sans jacket.
Happy Rachel.
Today is going good. I keep waking up at like 7:58. In the morning. I. Don't. Want. To. D: Ugh.
This is my first picture in my new place. I love it, I sincerely do. I want to be able to afford it, but I know God is able. I've gotten this far. I so know He is there guiding me. This was not a coincidence. Right now, I'm sharing the table with another lady. Kinda awk. I keep looking at her out of the corner of my eye. Whoops! No homo.
I need to repaint my fingernails. They look haggard. The water in SA is terrible on my skin. I'm still not used to it. It's really harsh and drying on my skin. My nails/nail beds look so bad at the moment. Plus, I have hxc hangnails. :'(
What I'm wearing:
shoes// kitty kat by Em & Sprout
These shoes are so adorable and comfy. :3
tights// 2x black tights from Cato
I bought them a long time ago, and I usually buy a 3x, but I really was in a stretch so I bought these instead, stretched them out before I wore them for the first time and they have lasted a long time.
skirt// plaid number by Torrid
I bought this a few months ago on major clearance and it fit! Signs that I've made progress. It's a size under what I wear.
shirt// Tegan & Sara heart shirt by Tegan & Sara
This is my first T&S shirt I bought from their website. It's really old. I love it, thought. The heart shape makes me want to wear it everyday. :)
jacket// Moto jacket by Avenue
My dream jacket. I love asymmetrical jackets! I couldn't find the right one, but that's about what it looks like.
That was fun! Hopefully I can remember to do more in the future!
♥ + kisses,
Rachel!
:)
Monday.
Take it back.
I told you I'd do it! Monday's outfit. I was going to use the internet at the library. :)
Sans jacket.
Happy Rachel.
Today is going good. I keep waking up at like 7:58. In the morning. I. Don't. Want. To. D: Ugh.
This is my first picture in my new place. I love it, I sincerely do. I want to be able to afford it, but I know God is able. I've gotten this far. I so know He is there guiding me. This was not a coincidence. Right now, I'm sharing the table with another lady. Kinda awk. I keep looking at her out of the corner of my eye. Whoops! No homo.
I need to repaint my fingernails. They look haggard. The water in SA is terrible on my skin. I'm still not used to it. It's really harsh and drying on my skin. My nails/nail beds look so bad at the moment. Plus, I have hxc hangnails. :'(
What I'm wearing:
shoes// kitty kat by Em & Sprout
These shoes are so adorable and comfy. :3
tights// 2x black tights from Cato
I bought them a long time ago, and I usually buy a 3x, but I really was in a stretch so I bought these instead, stretched them out before I wore them for the first time and they have lasted a long time.
skirt// plaid number by Torrid
I bought this a few months ago on major clearance and it fit! Signs that I've made progress. It's a size under what I wear.
shirt// Tegan & Sara heart shirt by Tegan & Sara
This is my first T&S shirt I bought from their website. It's really old. I love it, thought. The heart shape makes me want to wear it everyday. :)
jacket// Moto jacket by Avenue
My dream jacket. I love asymmetrical jackets! I couldn't find the right one, but that's about what it looks like.
That was fun! Hopefully I can remember to do more in the future!
♥ + kisses,
Rachel!
#54: I'll be fine once I get it.
5.10.2011
Tell Me What You Know About Night-terrors? Nothing.
God has been SO GOOD to me. I can't even begin to start on how He has been. The semester has finished and I'm out for the summer. I'm reaaally disappointed in myself, because I didn't do as well as I'd hoped. I am taking classes in the summer to make up for that and I just...I don't know where I'm supposed to go with this college thing. I'm burned out and called out. [Not really the second one.]
I have an apartment.
My clothes fit comfy.
I think I'm smaller. I don't know. I just feel confident and better about myself. Maybe it isn't that I'm smaller, just happier. :)
Santogold is in my ears right now. ♥
I totally can not go to the Manchester Orchestra concert. Unless God rains money, this mug isn't going to Austin. D: I am so sad about this. Like...WHY?!?!? I wanted to gooooo. Oh well. They'll come around again. [Watch it be like 5 years until they do and I'll be all working and stuff so I can't go.] I bought their new CD yesterday, and I really am digging it.
My friend said something sweet to me this week. I think he's rad.
I learned about how people who may not follow what I believe and how our friendships can not work 100%. I think that I'm learning how to rely on my Brothers & Sisters. :) And believe me, they always surprise me with their kindness. I really owe them a lot.
I will be posting outfits soonish. I have natural light everywhere in my new place, so no excuses!
I'm serious. Those outfits are happening.
My dad, for the first time, wants to be in my life. He has helped and even wanted to come up to San Angelo to drop off my bed. :O I have mixed feelings about that. I'm glad he is trying but I don't know how to express what's in my heart. I'm glad but curious.
I explored the front porch of the house by my building. The landlords say this woman bought the house and doesn't live there. She does that all around Texas.
We drove by the house of he man who voiced Bambi today. :)
♥,
Rachel
#53: And if you don't love me, let me go.
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